Whoever takes up space influences the conversation before a single word is spoken. People choose a spot, stay standing or sit down, put things down or shift them aside. It often happens automatically, but it does steer how a conversation starts and unfolds.

We call this territorial behaviour: non-verbal communication that reveals how someone feels in a situation, and how much of a foothold they need. It's not about intentions or character, but about how someone deals with space.

You see this everywhere. In meetings and negotiations, but also on the bus, where someone puts a bag on the seat next to them, or on the beach, where a towel "reserves" a sunbed. Nobody says a word, but everyone understands the message.

What Territorial Behaviour Reveals

Territorial behaviour mainly reveals a need for overview and safety. Everyone shows this behaviour, whether they feel confident or tense. The difference isn't in whether someone takes up space, but in how someone moves with that space once the situation changes - and that has a direct effect on others.

When someone's relaxed, their use of space moves along with the conversation. Things get moved when needed, someone shifts over when another person joins, space is taken and let go of again. The physical space then supports the connection.

When tension rises, space tends to get locked down instead. Things stay put or get spread out further, someone stays standing or leans back as the conversation gets harder. The space then protects the person rather than the conversation. So it's less about how much space someone takes, and more about how tightly someone holds onto it.

Why This Has an Immediate Effect

Because people react automatically to the use of space, a dynamic forms before the content of the conversation has even started. Without it being named, we sense who's moving freely, who's withdrawing, and who's setting the direction. Others usually adjust to that silently: they wait before speaking, sit somewhere else, or take less initiative.

Effect in Conversations and Groups

That dynamic becomes especially clear in groups and work situations, where the use of space determines who speaks and who listens. In conversations, the use of space influences who takes initiative, who speaks more often, and who holds back. Whoever uses more space tends to get more attention naturally. Whoever takes up less space gets interrupted sooner, or is drawn in less.

In work situations you see this, for example, when:

  • one person structurally sits at the head or in the middle of the table;
  • materials or spots stay consistently occupied;
  • others adapt by making themselves smaller or joining later.

So the way space is divided helps steer what gets said, by whom, and with how much weight.

When a Conversation Gets Tense

In negotiations, where interests clash, territorial behaviour becomes especially visible - particularly as tension rises. The moment things get tense, the body often changes first, and only then the content. Someone leans back, spreads papers further apart, or literally creates more distance.

That says little about the position itself, but a lot about what's happening internally: the body is searching for overview and protection. From that point on, it's no longer just about arguments, but also about whether the conversation can still continue without someone mentally "shutting down".

You'll often see people repeat positions, become more formal, share less, or want to wrap up the conversation. Territorial behaviour is often one of the first visible signals that this tipping point is approaching.

How to Handle This in a Negotiation

Fortunately, you can recognise and adjust for this behaviour without naming it. You usually don't need to correct this behaviour. What helps is keeping the conversation manageable by bringing calm and overview. For example, by:

  • placing your own things more compactly
  • not immediately changing your position when the other person does
  • reducing unnecessary movement
  • slowing the conversation down and structuring it with words

Phrases like "let's unpack this for a moment" or "I think we've hit on an important point here" acknowledge what's happening without discussing the behaviour itself. They keep the conversation open.

Sometimes the moment actually calls for you to set the direction yourself. Then you can deliberately take up space to steer the conversation.

Opening a conversation: shift your chair slightly forward, rest an arm loosely on the edge of the table, and say with a steepling gesture (fingertips touching): "Let's start by focusing on the price - what's the minimum on your side?"

Summarising options: lean in slightly, rest your arm relaxed over the back of your chair, and gesture with an open palm: "I'm hearing three proposals: 10K with fast delivery, 12K with extra service, or 9K over a longer term. Which one should we look at first?"

Reaching a conclusion: sit up straighter (claiming a height advantage), bring your hands into a steeple (fingertips touching), and say: "Okay, we're landing on 11K with the standard warranty. You'll email the specs, I'll arrange the contract text for tomorrow."

The difference lies in choosing deliberately instead of reacting automatically.

Paying Attention to Your Own Use of Space

That awareness starts with your own patterns. Territorial behaviour often shows up in small, recognisable habits:

  • automatically choosing the same spot every time
  • spreading your things out widely
  • staying standing while others sit
  • pacing around while others stay still

Noticing this in yourself creates freedom of choice. You can take up space to steer the conversation, or leave space when equality or openness matters most.

Reading Territorial Behaviour in Others

And with others, it helps to spot tension early. In others, territorial behaviour often increases when topics get sensitive, roles are unclear, or interests clash. That behaviour gives you information: it shows where the tension is, without anyone having to put it into words. Whoever can read that can steer the conversation before it stalls.

In Short

Territorial behaviour isn't a power move and not a fixed personality trait, but a response to the situation. Paying attention to how people deal with space makes it easier to understand why conversations sometimes flow smoothly and sometimes get stuck.

In short: whoever can read space already sees the dynamic forming, before it's ever spoken out loud.