A strong CV, solid references and a convincing job interview. You're the ideal candidate. And yet you walk out of the salary negotiation with less than the minimum you were willing to accept. How does that happen?

In many cases, it has nothing to do with which offer you put on the table, but with how you put it there. Your non-verbal communication determines roughly 70% of whether your proposal lands firmly or comes across as shaky. And precisely during that one pivotal moment, the conversation about money, non-verbal communication matters more than ever.

Does Your Body Say the Same Thing as Your Words?

Negotiating salary creates tension. Even for experienced professionals. You know what you're worth, but the moment you have to say the number, you feel your heart rate climb. Your argument is sound, but your body is sending something else: doubt. And that gets noticed.

The key word here is congruence. That means your body and your words need to be aligned, communicating the same thing.

Say you state: "I had a salary of €5,500 gross in mind." If your body language is aligned with your words (congruent), your message lands as credible. But if your body is telling a different story, doubt creeps in. How do you counter that?

Here are five body language signals that determine whether you come across as solid - or unintentionally undermine yourself:

1. A Straight Back

A straight back literally shows that you stand behind what you're saying. It prevents a slumped posture that unconsciously radiates submissiveness or uncertainty.

Why it works:

  • You look alert, engaged and serious.
  • It stops you from appearing smaller or more hesitant than you are.

Tip: Lean slightly forward while talking, but keep your back straight. You're in a conversation, not on the sofa.

2. Relaxed Shoulders

Raised shoulders are a classic signal of tension. Even if your voice sounds calm, tense shoulders give away that you find this stressful.

Why it works:

  • Relaxed shoulders show that you feel at ease.
  • You come across as open, not defensive.

Tip: Before the conversation, roll your shoulders back a few times. Get a feel for what it's like to hold them deliberately low.

3. Open Hand Gestures (Visible Above the Table)

Your hands are a powerful communication tool. Anyone who keeps them under the table, fiddles with a pen, or touches their face radiates unease or doubt.

Why it works:

  • Open palms (for example, while underlining your point) signal transparency and control.
  • They make your story more vivid, and more credible.

Tip: Let your hands rest on the table when you're not speaking. Use calm gestures between your navel and chest when you are.

4. Steady, Friendly Eye Contact

Anyone who looks away at the exact moment they state the number radiates uncertainty. And that gets felt immediately.

Why it works:

  • Eye contact at the right moment shows: I mean this.
  • It strengthens your presence without being pushy.

Tip: Look the other person deliberately in the eye when you make your proposal. Hold the gaze briefly, then look away in a relaxed way. Alternate between looking and listening - that comes across as natural.

5. Your Legs

The other person usually can't see your legs, but that doesn't mean they're not doing anything. Your lower body determines how stable and calm your upper body feels and moves.

Why it works:

  • Feet flat on the floor literally and figuratively give you more stability.
  • It prevents fidgeting, restless movements or a closed-off posture.

Tip: Plant your feet firmly, roughly hip-width apart. Avoid crossing your legs, bouncing your feet, or tucking them under your chair - it affects your whole posture (and you'll feel that in your voice and breathing too).

Can You Overdo It Too?

Definitely. Anyone who overcorrects - sitting overly dominant, holding eye contact too long, or using overly wide arm gestures - can come across to the other person as aggressive or manipulative.

Confidence isn't about being bigger than the other person, but about being calmly and clearly present.

The Power of Silence

After stating your (counter-)offer, there's one tool more powerful than any argument: silence. Simply saying nothing for a moment. Not explaining, not laughing it off, not softening it.

Those few seconds of silence might feel uncomfortable, but that discomfort works in your favour. It shows you genuinely mean your offer, that you're not wavering, and it subtly puts pressure on the other person to respond first.

Stay quiet, and you give the other person room to process your proposal. Start talking right away, and you fill in their doubt for them.

An Exercise for Home

Practise saying your salary ask out loud - in front of a mirror or with a conversation partner. Say, for example: "I had €5,500 gross in mind, because…" And then: hold your tongue for three full seconds. No nodding. No laughing. Just breathing. Feels uncomfortable? Good - that means you're training it. Better to feel that now, at home, than at the negotiating table later.

In Short: Believe It Yourself First

Confident body language can be practised, but it starts with something deeper: the feeling that you genuinely deserve your ask. If you believe that, congruent behaviour becomes a natural result - not a trick. And that - that inner conviction becoming visible in your whole posture - is what makes the difference between settling for less, or getting what you're worth.